BEING PREGNANT AND GIVING BIRTH IN A CHINESE HOSPITAL

My third son was born in 2015 at Kowloon Hospital, Suzhou. Why did I choose to give birth in a Chinese hospital? 

I could say it was because I wanted a genuine experience, but the truth is that the luxurious clinics in Shanghai are deadly expensive and I didn’t want to go bankrupt. I already knew I would have had a C-section, and spending more than 20.000 Euro for the delivery was unthinkable. The Chinese hospital was much more affordable, and so we chose it.

Having a baby in China, for foreigners, is always a matter of money.  If you are a young couple and you are already planning a pregnancy, you can take out maternity insurance (usually not included in the basic plans), but this is also very expensive, and sometimes your employer doesn’t agree to add it in the benefits. We didn’t have a maternity plan, so everything was on us. We did the math and discovered that giving birth in the hospital would cost more or less like buying a return plane ticket for me to go to Italy (and having the baby there) and for my husband and my two elder children to visit me a couple of times. So, we decided I would stay in China. 

What is it like to give birth in China? What are the differences compared to Italy?

The hospital I chose had a VIP section where nurses could speak good English. They translated everything and were kind. They accompanied me as I did all my tests: blood tests, ultrasound – basically all medical test you may need when you are pregnant. The quality of the medical experience was satisfactory, and I didn’t notice any lack of hygiene.

I saw the doctor every month as I did in Italy for my first two children. She measured my belly, asked me about weight, asked me if I was feeling okay. The usual questions. Strangely enough,  nobody EVER visited me inside the place where children come out. And they told me to stop swimming from the 24th week. Moreover, they made me sign a paper in which I declared I didn’t want to take my placenta after the delivery and I agreed to donate it to the hospital. 

I didn’t do the amniocentesis because they offered to run a DNA test, that can determinate if the baby has chromosomic syndromes. All they needed was a blood sample. In Italy, this test is still uncommon and very expensive. 

But when it came to be checked into the hospital, things changed. The room was different as I remembered when we visited the ward: it wasn’t in as good condition as I remembered – and it was rather dirty! And the nurses and doctors barely spoke any English. 

Luckily, that was my third child, and I was feeling relaxed enough not to worry about it. 

I had the chance to practice my Mandarin and learned many useful medical words, so not only did I give birth to my third child, but I also had a crash course in Chinese medical terminology. Lucky me!

And, moreover, while my friends who gave birth in the renowned clinics of Shanghai had a real chef preparing food for them, I could eat (?) some traditional and healthy soup instead.

Yummy and healthy

Sometimes communication was a problem, me not understanding Mandarin and them not speaking English, so the only way to communicate was through the phone translator. But as you may imagine, automatic translation is not always correct and more than once I burst out laughing in front of them (and their surprised expression made me more and more amused). 
I wasn’t so amused just before the surgery when my body had already been tied to the operating table: what if I couldn't tell them something was wrong? What if I couldn’t explain my feelings? As these thoughts went through my head, I began to feel dizzy and my eye span blackened. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, I closed my eyes and waited for that awful sensation to dissolve. A few minutes later I was well again. They had taken the baby from my womb, and I listened him crying: the most magical sound a mom can hear from her new-born son. I suddenly felt relaxed: he was healthy.

Postnatal care was also slightly different from the one I had received in Italy. For instance, they pressed my womb a couple of times after the C-section, to make all the blood flow away quickly. It was harrowing, and I hated it! The pros are that they gave me painkillers to bear the pain of the C-section wound (in Italy they never did!).

They didn't wash the baby immediately, but only when he was ready to go back home. And they let him swim a little bit in the warm water like in this picture.

Isn't he cute?

Overall, it was a good experience, and I am thankful everything went well. 

CHINA IN FIVE SPICES

Memories are made of images, sounds, but also perfumes, tastes, and smells. Something ethereal that reaches our soul, penetrates our cells and stays in our mind forever. Like spices.

Nothing like food can create memories. It nourishes our body and at the same time our soul, it can help us to adapt to a new environment, can make us happy, or disgusted, or bored. Feelings and food are closely connected to each other.

In our mind, each different flavor is linked to a different mood.

When you move to another country, food is more likely the first local experience you’ll have.

In my case, when I moved to China I've met a very different kind of food: other ingredients, others seasonings are used and sometimes you really need to get used to them! After a while, I unexpectedly discovered that I loved them: they were directly related to my life in China and they carried all the memories of my first days here.

Especially spices, which give food all the various nuances and make it typical of a specific region. 

Five spices are able to make me travel in space and time, and remember things I thought were hidden in the bottom of my brain. 

CORIANDER is the king of spices in Asia! You can find it everywhere, and I even used it as the title for my novel about the adventures of three expat women in China! At the beginning I really couldn’t stand its smell: so pungent, so different! I found it almost disgusting. And now… I can’t live without it! I always use coriander when I cook Chinese style and its smell is so intimately connected to my life in China that I really love it.

PARSLEY like coriander is the king of Chinese cuisine, parsley is the king of the Italian one. You can put it literally everywhere: sprinkled on your spaghetti, lightly fried with garlic to season the fish, minced to create a fresh and creamy sauce. It looks very similar to coriander but its flavor is completely different. Here in China is not that easy to find it and, for this reason, when Grandma came here last year to visit us, she brought some fresh parsley picked from her garden. She had carefully wrapped it with kitchen paper and put it in the luggage trying not to squash it. When we took it out, it was still fresh and fragrant. We put it in a mug full of water and used it a bit at a time. It lasted a long time and its smell was so familiar, so comforting! That bunch of parsley made a long journey to come from her village to the big city in China and will remind me forever how deeply she loves us.

LEMON GRASS what is that? The first time I tried it, I was having lunch at a Thai restaurant, here in Suzhou. So fresh! I loved it. It reminds me how many different and wonderful places I still have to visit here in Asia. This continent has always fascinated me and my dream is to visit all its enchanting countries.

THYME my hometown is a small city laid between the mountains and the sea. The rugged and stony land behind its back is called “Carso” and it’s a very typical landscape of that region. When I was a child, my dad often took me to have a walk up there: I remember the strong wind in winter, the hot sun in summer. I remember he taught me not to go around the stones, where vipers could hide. In that harsh land, there were large zones without a single tree: only rocks, yellow grass, and red soil. Hidden in the dry, tall grass, there was a treasure: small plants of thyme. Their smell gave off at every step. 

Imagine my surprise when I found some fresh thyme here in Suzhou! I bought it and, once at home, I plunged my nose into the box. Sniffing all those old memories, I realized how many things about my life in Italy I have already forgotten. But my unconscious still knows them and will maybe bring them out in the most unexpected moment.

BASIL is another typical Mediterranean herb. Basil means summer, sun and hot weather. The season when, in the Italian countryside, people prepare the delicious tomato sauce made from just-harvested fruits. Those fresh tomatoes are still warm of sun, and sinking your teeth into their flavorful flesh is a special experience. Some leaves of basil are added in every jar of sauce, so when you open it, the following winter, it will still scent like summer.

And you? Which are the spices that make you travel with your fantasy?

WHY DO I LOVE EXPATS?

My expat adventure began almost 5 years ago when I moved from the lethargic Italian suburbs to the dynamic, noisy and chaotic Chinese city which became our second home. 

I had never lived abroad before, but I had the chance to know some expats and I was always intrigued by their stories, fascinated by their open-minded attitudes. I was an avid reader of expat stories and every time, I felt like my life in the slow, peaceful Italian countryside fit me snugly.

Finally, I became an expat myself and made many friends among people who lived abroad. I really do love expats (I even wrote a novel about them!). They face life in a different way. How exactly? Why are they different? Let me explain my point of view:

1) They make friends easily:

Leaving behind your family, your friends and the place where you were born can make you feel lonely. Expats know they have to make friends quickly in order to survive: they must find a tribe, a kind of family substitute to rely on. This is why they usually aren’t shy: they know how to break the ice, they become experts in the art of small talks, they tend to be less leery and more open.

2) They learn how to face problems courageously: 

When you live abroad, in a country where people speak another language, have different habits, sometimes also think in a different way, even the smallest thing can be scary. Daily life’s trivia as going to the hairdresser, talking with you kids’ teachers, opening a bank account may be scattered with obstacles and you need a jolt of courage to accomplish them. This is why expats are usually very brave people: they learn to do things even when they don’t feel at ease doing them. They know how to step out of their comfort zone - actually they live outside it almost every day!

3) They always know how to figure it out:

Moving in another country is not a simple matter: you have to complete procedures, get visas, contact relocation companies, enroll children in a new school, find a house that suits you. Most of the times you must do these things remotely, relying only on the internet - and your instinct! This is why expats usually can handle themselves in many different situations without getting lost along the way.

4) They always complain about something, but at the same time, they learn to respect other cultures:

They complain? Yes, they do! About food, about traffic, about certain attitude of locals, about weather, about… whatever! But at the same time, they learn to understand other cultures, they develop what experts call “cultural intelligence” and are able to relate with people from all over the world. 

5) They are direct and less formal: 

When it comes to writing an email, I’m always surprised how easy it is to communicate with expats. In Italy, for instance, when we write letters we really like to address people with their qualification and use polite set phrases to sound kind and respectful. But when you write in English… it’s all so simple! You start your letter with “Hi!” and that’s all!

6) They are creative:

Living abroad forces you to reinvent many aspects of your life. If you are the spouse, you probably need to create a new, portable career. This is why many expats devote themselves to their passions: they become painters, writers, bloggers. They create jewels, dresses, gadgets. If they come up with a new idea, they’ll probably be successful.

And you? Do you also think expats are peculiar people? Let me know in the comments!