CHALLENGE OF THE FIRST DAYS

Just arrived, I realized that my first priority was to making friends: my husband would begin to travel soon and I would be alone with children in a foreign city. I had to be prepared to any emergency. I had to feel safe and secure. If you have friends around you, this can help a lot to make you feel at ease.

Actually, I'm not so social! But I forced myself to be.

The first person who spoke to me was a friendly, young Korean lady. She saw me outside the compound shop (I think I looked really as “just arrived”!) and she simply said “Hello!”. I felt really shy and not confident in my English skills, but I tried not to make me pull down by my fears. And we are still friends now!

Another point in my favor was that I already contacted people before coming in China, and so when I arrived, I already had their telephone number!

The first Sunday I received a text message from an Italian blogger lady living in Suzhou “We are sitting in the playground near your building. Would you like to join us?”

When we rush to the playground we found a cheerful group of Italians chatting and laughing together. We were introduced and this was the beginning of the story... then it has been easy to take part to lunch and trips around Suzhou (and Suzhou shops, eheh!) and I quickly built my network!

School and playground have been the right places to find friendly moms, also! The wonderful opportunity to expand my group of friends even among foreigners.

If you don't have children (and you miss the possibility that schools and playgrounds can give) you can join a gym, a language course or an expat-group.

Usually (not always, but this is another story) expats are very open to meet new friends and is very easy start talking with someone. They are also very helpful with each other. Don't miss the chance!

IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

Yes: if not now, when will I have time again to follow my passions? To spend my time writing stories, blogging, reading? Being an accompanying partner could be hard sometimes, especially if you have to leave your career. But fortunately, for me hasn't been like that.

Before moving to China, I already wanted to change. I wasn't happy with my job and some of my female-colleague behaved like a snake, not like a person! To be honest, sometimes I had the sensation to work into a reptilarium! However, as many of us, I needed to work and earn money, not only for contribute to the family budget but also for have my professional identity.

Till I was a child I had the dream of doing something creative. Most of the times art and fantasy don't make you earn your daily bread, so I've done my duty and I became e a bookkeeper. I will never enough thank my boss, who gave me the opportunity to learn the job and acquire professional, but I cannot say that was the job of my life! During my free time I was keeping on write and draw but, I think you know how it's working, this free time seemed to be less and less.

The proposal of the “Asian job” had come exactly when I finally decided to quit and search for another job, always as bookkeeper but part-time.

So everything was turning in the same direction, everything was going in the right way.

During my first year as an expat-wife, I had a lot of free time! I used it for going around, knowing people, shopping, discovering places, learning Chinese. It has been a very interesting year!

And now I have embarked in this new adventure: writing an English blog. And I also would like to write short novels and a book! What an ambitious project, eh? Maybe all this new things on which I'm working on are like a dead-end street that will lead me nowhere, something I do just for fun. In Italy we say: if they are roses, they will bloom. That's means that if something is promising, it will develop in the future. Otherwise, I'm doing exactly what I like now, and this is already a great gift!

If you are an accompanying spouse and you don't work, I suggest you to take advantage of your free time. Try to discover which are your passions and try to develop them. Who knows? Perhaps they will become your new business, or will give you satisfaction that you never imagined. Don't get depressed by the feeling you don't have anything “important” to do. In the daily life in our country we have a lot of tasks, in the expat life we often have a lot of time. It depends on us to waste it or make the best use.

WHO ARE WE? WHAT DO WE DO? WHERE ARE WE GOING?

The answer to the first question is easy: we are an Italian family, relocated in China since August 2012. Daddy (often traveling around Asia), Mommy (it's me! The one who loves writing) and two little pests aged 5 (girl) and 3 (boy).

When, one year ago, the opportunity to work and live in China happened to us, we didn't think a lot before saying YES! Italy isn't a good place to find a job, nowadays. And something called crisis is getting people down. So we thought “It could be good to escape for a while from this bad atmosphere”. It couldn't have been more true! My husband's career is going well, children are happy in their new environment and the little girl can speak English and a bit of Chinese already!

And me? Despite of the statistics about depression and difficulties of accompanying partners, I discovered a new myself: more self-confident, more enthusiastic, more open to other people!

I'm lucky because I have passions: I like writing, drawing and painting. I left behind my accountant career without looking back (actually I never liked so much that job!). Now I'm not forced to work and I can try to do only what I like: perhaps a new career is waiting for me behind the corner!

So I've already answered to the second question!

And how about the third one? Where are we going? For the moment we wish to stay in China for some years, trying to take all the best from this experience!