WHEN I WAS WRITING AN ENGLISH BLOG

It was a long time ago… 

It was a long time ago the last time I wrote on this blog. And today I write again. 

What happened during all this time? Why did I stop? And why am I starting again?

But let’s take this step-by-step…

Many things happened…

Maybe the most important new, which shook my life and forced me to reinvent all my plans, is that I had my third baby! He is 14 months already, his Chinese name is Dong Sheng (raised in the East) and he was born in Suzhou, a beautiful September day. Even if his arrival was unexpected, he makes our family happy every day more! But, as you can imagine, being pregnant, giving birth and raising a newborn (and at the same time taking care of the other two) it's a very time-consuming activity, and the time for writing became less and less.

Considering also that last year I published my first novel, I even had no time to breath! 

I choose the self-publishing, so marketing and promotion were all on me. An exciting, but huge work!

The novel is the story of three Italian women, who left their life behind and follow their husbands in China. But I will tell you more about the book in the next posts!

I spend a lot of time promoting the book: as a surprise to myself, I discovered I am able to speak in public, and I even like it! I did many public talks to introduce the book, both in China and Italy, and it has been a great experience for me!

I appeared on many Italian web sites about expat life, and on my city newspaper as well. If you are curious, you can see all the interviews and article on my Italian blog cucinanto.com.

So, this was a very exciting job and gave me many satisfactions. But it left me no time for anything else (actually, I still wonder how I could manage to do all those things!).

Now I feel ready to start the write-an-Englis-blog adventure again! My dream is to give voice, through these pages, to all the women who move following their husbands and to motivate them to make the most of their expat life.

TCK AND REAL LIFE

 

This morning my daughter woke up telling me: “I had a dream... I dreamed that I was in Italy with my Chinese class and I told to my friend: this is my real home.”

I have looked at her, thoughtful. She is almost 6 years old, she is living in China since two years. But, for her, “real home” is still Italy.

What makes a place your place? Grandparents and relatives? The first memories of your life? The house which your parents have built with sweat and blood (okay, maybe not blood but the word makes the idea), or what?

And how about my son, who was 2 ½ years old when we come to China? His first friends, he has made here. He learned speaking here (and, actually, he speaks better English than Italian). Is he also going to consider Italy his “real home”?

This is what they call “Third Culture Kids”. I read about it, but to find myself facing the issue, is different!

In a book I read some very important words: children needs strong roots, in order to grow a large foliage that rises to the sky.

In expat life, everything is changing and inconstant. Friends and teachers are coming and going and sometimes I wonder how can my children bear this situation and be always happy and smiling... but they also feel that our “real” life is elsewhere. Maybe we won't go back for a long time (and, actually, our real life is now in China!), but in their heart our home is an idealized and mythological place where nothing changes: Grandma will always welcome you with her fragrant home-made cookies, Uncle and Auntie will take you in their vegetable patch, showing you seedlings and buds, friends will tell you about the small school they are attending.

One of the best friend of my daughter will go back soon to France for good. She asked me: when will we go back for good in Italy? And I felt like a stab in the hearth.

A foreigner could live decades in China, and still continue to be foreigner. You look as foreigner, no way to blend into the background! Everybody can guess you are not from here!

But, in any case, expat life changes you, and you start feeling like if you life is now double: two countries, two houses, different friends, atmosphere, foods. And you start wondering which world do you belong.

And this is true for children, also. My daughter uses to say “Our planet” instead of “our country”, and “this planet” instead of China... funny, isn't it? Incredible how deeply they can think, inside that little blond head!

They know they are Italian. And it's my duty to let them know about their country history and culture. And it's my duty also let them love the country which is giving to us hospitality.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF CHANGE

Change is life. In the stagnant water, life dies.
Change is challenging, but it also brings opportunities. If you stay paralyzed, waiting for something, probably nothing will happen.
Moving abroad is a massive change. Is it easy to do? It depends on you, on what you leave behind, on what you are expecting. But, for sure, it is always a great opportunity.
In my case, moving abroad gave me strength, self-esteem, and the capability to cope with all the hassles of daily-life in a foreign country without feeling despair.
If you have a chance to move abroad, don't discard the idea too soon. Even if you are scared to death, don't let your weaknesses to decide for your future.