DON'T BE AFRAID OF CHANGE

Change is life. In the stagnant water, life dies.
Change is challenging, but it also brings opportunities. If you stay paralyzed, waiting for something, probably nothing will happen.
Moving abroad is a massive change. Is it easy to do? It depends on you, on what you leave behind, on what you are expecting. But, for sure, it is always a great opportunity.
In my case, moving abroad gave me strength, self-esteem, and the capability to cope with all the hassles of daily-life in a foreign country without feeling despair.
If you have a chance to move abroad, don't discard the idea too soon. Even if you are scared to death, don't let your weaknesses to decide for your future.

EXPAT STORIES: COMING BACK FROM CHRISTMAS

Mia and Barbara are two Italian ladies, currently living in China. They both are living abroad since a couple of years.

For the Christmas holidays, like most of the foreigners, they have come back in Italy. Three or more weeks, to enjoy the warm atmosphere of their homeland.

How are these kind of Christmas holidays for expats? Very busy, of course: visiting friends and relatives, having lunches and dinners, eating a lot of delicious Italian dishes and drinking plenty of wine! And enjoying the warmth of Italian family!

But husband's work is calling: let's go back in China!

Mia is preparing luggages with very sad hearth: she enjoyed very much to stay with her family and every good-bye is more difficult than the last one. She would like to stay a little more... she couldn't meet all friends she wanted to, the time was too short.

When the plane lands in Shanghai, she stares sadly at the gray foggy. How she's missing her beautiful garden in Italy! She won't see her roses blooming, even this year. She's fighting to hide the tears, she doesn't want her husband to see her cry.

A driver is waiting for them outside the arrivals. Like every time, the misunderstandings start immediately. She's very tired about that, really tired to deal every single day with the attitude of the Chinese: so different from the Italians!

Barbara instead, is very happy to go back to China! In Italy she found the same, old family problems: the sister doesn't speak with her anymore and every Christmas dinner is a drama. And then: forced to stay home because every single relative wanted to visit them. It could be pleasant, but not when you have to cook from morning to evening for your never ending guests! And clean the house, and look after children, and make a lot of phone calls... is this holiday?

Besides, the general atmosphere in her place is not so nice: many in her town have lost the job and people are very angry, disappointed, unhappy. The economical crisis seems to be endless and the political situation is not better.

For Barbara, China means dynamism and activity! In China her children enjoy the international school (a really good opportunity to learn English in a proper way!) and she has a lot of time to spend to attend Mandarin lessons, to discover new places, to socialize. She has known a lot of new,interesting people!

Unlike Barbara, Mia feels very lonely: her best friends are in Italy and during her time abroad she couldn't forge deep relationships: expats are coming and going and friendship is necessarily superficial.

Happy new year, Mia and Barbara: your way to experience life abroad is totally different and your challenge in the new year won't be the same. As our, of course. Each of us lives expat life in a different way and I hope that 2014 will bring us strength, energy and enthusiasm to cope large and small difficulties!

CHALLENGE OF THE FIRST DAYS

Just arrived, I realized that my first priority was to making friends: my husband would begin to travel soon and I would be alone with children in a foreign city. I had to be prepared to any emergency. I had to feel safe and secure. If you have friends around you, this can help a lot to make you feel at ease.

Actually, I'm not so social! But I forced myself to be.

The first person who spoke to me was a friendly, young Korean lady. She saw me outside the compound shop (I think I looked really as “just arrived”!) and she simply said “Hello!”. I felt really shy and not confident in my English skills, but I tried not to make me pull down by my fears. And we are still friends now!

Another point in my favor was that I already contacted people before coming in China, and so when I arrived, I already had their telephone number!

The first Sunday I received a text message from an Italian blogger lady living in Suzhou “We are sitting in the playground near your building. Would you like to join us?”

When we rush to the playground we found a cheerful group of Italians chatting and laughing together. We were introduced and this was the beginning of the story... then it has been easy to take part to lunch and trips around Suzhou (and Suzhou shops, eheh!) and I quickly built my network!

School and playground have been the right places to find friendly moms, also! The wonderful opportunity to expand my group of friends even among foreigners.

If you don't have children (and you miss the possibility that schools and playgrounds can give) you can join a gym, a language course or an expat-group.

Usually (not always, but this is another story) expats are very open to meet new friends and is very easy start talking with someone. They are also very helpful with each other. Don't miss the chance!