WOMEN WHO MAKE BRAVE CHOICES: THE STORY OF ANNA&ANNA FROM BEIJING

Today is Women’s Day, and I’d like to celebrate it telling the story of two creative, dynamic and brave women: Anna & Anna from Beijing, who started a project called CinCucina.

Women, who follow their husbands around the world: how are they? Privileged, spoiled ladies living in the golden expat bubble, or brave women who overcome difficulties, make sacrifices, win battles and fight to reinvent themselves?

Anna & Anna met in Beijing (and I’m proud to say that I was the one who put them in contact!) and soon became friends. Being Italian, they both like to cook. So, when the Italian Institute of Culture organized an Italian cuisine course and looked for a teacher, they jumped in! 

CinCucina was born: their lessons are specially tailored for Chinese and expats, and they teach simple but genuine Italian dishes, like Pollo alla cacciatora, or Tiramisù. In other words, the real Italian cuisine! They also created a cookbook (available in English and Mandarin), which they presented at the Italian Embassy in Beijing during the week of "Italian cuisine in the world".

But who are Anna & Anna, what can they tell us about their personal stories?

“My expat life began in 1995,” tells Anna Cincotto Reniero “My husband and I moved to Switzerland, where he started a job he was passionate about. I’m curious and full of energy as well, but I also like to take care of the house and cook a good meal for the family!”

In Switzerland, Anna met many International friends, learned French and became the mother of a lively baby girl. 

After Switzerland, Normandy: a small village in which they really felt “foreign” for the first time. There wasn’t a big International community there, so Anna focused on her part-time job and on taking care of her daughter.

After 11 years abroad, Anna and her family went back to Italy and lived for a while in Florence.

“I was an expat in Italy, isn’t it funny? I really enjoyed life in Florence, a small but vivacious and international city.”

New destination: a little town in the American province.

“That was a cultural shock! I had to learn English, which I didn’t speak at all. And my daughter went from a French school to the American system, in a public school with more than 2000 students!”

Anna needed to support her daughter, who didn’t speak English.

“She came back home telling me she didn’t understand a word of what the teachers told her. She cried sometimes; she missed her friends. But if children can see strength in their parents’ eyes, they can overcome difficulties easily!”

And Anna was a strong woman, indeed. She made friends with new people and started new activities.

“And a cooking group, of course! Cooking was always my passion!”

Afer three years, a new change: Paris. And then Beijing.

“This was the first time for us in Asia. It may sound strange, but I can find many similarities between American and Chinese culture: in my eyes, they both share a mix of disorganization, kindness, candor.”

“I’ve never felt lost during my nomad life” states Anna “Worried, sometimes. The most important thing in expat families is to make decisions together, and this is what my husband and I always did. I didn’t feel diminished because he was the one working, I know my job is important as well: I am the one organizing everything, and I am proud of it!”

And what about difficulties?

“The most difficult thing for me was learning languages! I had to learn French and English, and I struggled a lot. So this is why I don’t study Chinese!”

Different is the story of Anna Cappelloni. She was Born in a small Italian city, and after an Economic degree she moved to Rome to work. There she met the love of her life, the crazy man who proposed her to leave for a 6-month trip in China to study Mandarin.

“Instead of running away, I accepted! At that time I didn’t know that choice would have changed my life!”

The real chance to move to China happened years later.

“We were both working, and we owned a house… that proposal sounded a little shocking!”

Eventually, they decided to accept and moved to Tangshan, a small city 180 km away from Beijing, in which there was no expat community. 

“And pollution was severe! I was always alone because I had no friends and my husband was working until late.”

Not easy days. But Anna reacted and was even able to find a job as English teacher. Four years later they moved to Beijing, definitely a better lifestyle.

“There are several challenges for a woman who decides to follow her husband abroad. Many think that you are a privileged woman, and everything is easy and fancy, but they underestimate the strong impact this life can have on your feelings. You leave your family, your place, your job, in other words, a big part of yourself and you may feel lost, without a role, a purpose. You lose your financial independence and may feel guilty when you spend money. You are often alone because your husband works a lot. And you have to substitute Dad the many times he can’t be present (this is the second year in a row that my husband is not here for our daughter’s birthday!). What many people don’t understand, is that our role is essential. Without the support of the spouse, expat life wouldn’t be possible for the family!”

CinCucina is a project that let her make of cooking not only a passion but also a job, to meet locals and expats, to feel proud of something hers. 

“I believe that having your own project and not being only a wife and a mother is very important. Last year was exciting and fun, and I hope that the new one will bring more challenges and adventures! I’m ready!”

You can contact them @CinCucina Wechat or Facebook page to book a lesson or buy a copy of the cookbook (in English and Mandarin).

BEING PREGNANT AND GIVING BIRTH IN A CHINESE HOSPITAL

My third son was born in 2015 at Kowloon Hospital, Suzhou. Why did I choose to give birth in a Chinese hospital? 

I could say it was because I wanted a genuine experience, but the truth is that the luxurious clinics in Shanghai are deadly expensive and I didn’t want to go bankrupt. I already knew I would have had a C-section, and spending more than 20.000 Euro for the delivery was unthinkable. The Chinese hospital was much more affordable, and so we chose it.

Having a baby in China, for foreigners, is always a matter of money.  If you are a young couple and you are already planning a pregnancy, you can take out maternity insurance (usually not included in the basic plans), but this is also very expensive, and sometimes your employer doesn’t agree to add it in the benefits. We didn’t have a maternity plan, so everything was on us. We did the math and discovered that giving birth in the hospital would cost more or less like buying a return plane ticket for me to go to Italy (and having the baby there) and for my husband and my two elder children to visit me a couple of times. So, we decided I would stay in China. 

What is it like to give birth in China? What are the differences compared to Italy?

The hospital I chose had a VIP section where nurses could speak good English. They translated everything and were kind. They accompanied me as I did all my tests: blood tests, ultrasound – basically all medical test you may need when you are pregnant. The quality of the medical experience was satisfactory, and I didn’t notice any lack of hygiene.

I saw the doctor every month as I did in Italy for my first two children. She measured my belly, asked me about weight, asked me if I was feeling okay. The usual questions. Strangely enough,  nobody EVER visited me inside the place where children come out. And they told me to stop swimming from the 24th week. Moreover, they made me sign a paper in which I declared I didn’t want to take my placenta after the delivery and I agreed to donate it to the hospital. 

I didn’t do the amniocentesis because they offered to run a DNA test, that can determinate if the baby has chromosomic syndromes. All they needed was a blood sample. In Italy, this test is still uncommon and very expensive. 

But when it came to be checked into the hospital, things changed. The room was different as I remembered when we visited the ward: it wasn’t in as good condition as I remembered – and it was rather dirty! And the nurses and doctors barely spoke any English. 

Luckily, that was my third child, and I was feeling relaxed enough not to worry about it. 

I had the chance to practice my Mandarin and learned many useful medical words, so not only did I give birth to my third child, but I also had a crash course in Chinese medical terminology. Lucky me!

And, moreover, while my friends who gave birth in the renowned clinics of Shanghai had a real chef preparing food for them, I could eat (?) some traditional and healthy soup instead.

Yummy and healthy

Sometimes communication was a problem, me not understanding Mandarin and them not speaking English, so the only way to communicate was through the phone translator. But as you may imagine, automatic translation is not always correct and more than once I burst out laughing in front of them (and their surprised expression made me more and more amused). 
I wasn’t so amused just before the surgery when my body had already been tied to the operating table: what if I couldn't tell them something was wrong? What if I couldn’t explain my feelings? As these thoughts went through my head, I began to feel dizzy and my eye span blackened. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, I closed my eyes and waited for that awful sensation to dissolve. A few minutes later I was well again. They had taken the baby from my womb, and I listened him crying: the most magical sound a mom can hear from her new-born son. I suddenly felt relaxed: he was healthy.

Postnatal care was also slightly different from the one I had received in Italy. For instance, they pressed my womb a couple of times after the C-section, to make all the blood flow away quickly. It was harrowing, and I hated it! The pros are that they gave me painkillers to bear the pain of the C-section wound (in Italy they never did!).

They didn't wash the baby immediately, but only when he was ready to go back home. And they let him swim a little bit in the warm water like in this picture.

Isn't he cute?

Overall, it was a good experience, and I am thankful everything went well. 

CHINA IN FIVE SPICES

Memories are made of images, sounds, but also perfumes, tastes, and smells. Something ethereal that reaches our soul, penetrates our cells and stays in our mind forever. Like spices.

Nothing like food can create memories. It nourishes our body and at the same time our soul, it can help us to adapt to a new environment, can make us happy, or disgusted, or bored. Feelings and food are closely connected to each other.

In our mind, each different flavor is linked to a different mood.

When you move to another country, food is more likely the first local experience you’ll have.

In my case, when I moved to China I've met a very different kind of food: other ingredients, others seasonings are used and sometimes you really need to get used to them! After a while, I unexpectedly discovered that I loved them: they were directly related to my life in China and they carried all the memories of my first days here.

Especially spices, which give food all the various nuances and make it typical of a specific region. 

Five spices are able to make me travel in space and time, and remember things I thought were hidden in the bottom of my brain. 

CORIANDER is the king of spices in Asia! You can find it everywhere, and I even used it as the title for my novel about the adventures of three expat women in China! At the beginning I really couldn’t stand its smell: so pungent, so different! I found it almost disgusting. And now… I can’t live without it! I always use coriander when I cook Chinese style and its smell is so intimately connected to my life in China that I really love it.

PARSLEY like coriander is the king of Chinese cuisine, parsley is the king of the Italian one. You can put it literally everywhere: sprinkled on your spaghetti, lightly fried with garlic to season the fish, minced to create a fresh and creamy sauce. It looks very similar to coriander but its flavor is completely different. Here in China is not that easy to find it and, for this reason, when Grandma came here last year to visit us, she brought some fresh parsley picked from her garden. She had carefully wrapped it with kitchen paper and put it in the luggage trying not to squash it. When we took it out, it was still fresh and fragrant. We put it in a mug full of water and used it a bit at a time. It lasted a long time and its smell was so familiar, so comforting! That bunch of parsley made a long journey to come from her village to the big city in China and will remind me forever how deeply she loves us.

LEMON GRASS what is that? The first time I tried it, I was having lunch at a Thai restaurant, here in Suzhou. So fresh! I loved it. It reminds me how many different and wonderful places I still have to visit here in Asia. This continent has always fascinated me and my dream is to visit all its enchanting countries.

THYME my hometown is a small city laid between the mountains and the sea. The rugged and stony land behind its back is called “Carso” and it’s a very typical landscape of that region. When I was a child, my dad often took me to have a walk up there: I remember the strong wind in winter, the hot sun in summer. I remember he taught me not to go around the stones, where vipers could hide. In that harsh land, there were large zones without a single tree: only rocks, yellow grass, and red soil. Hidden in the dry, tall grass, there was a treasure: small plants of thyme. Their smell gave off at every step. 

Imagine my surprise when I found some fresh thyme here in Suzhou! I bought it and, once at home, I plunged my nose into the box. Sniffing all those old memories, I realized how many things about my life in Italy I have already forgotten. But my unconscious still knows them and will maybe bring them out in the most unexpected moment.

BASIL is another typical Mediterranean herb. Basil means summer, sun and hot weather. The season when, in the Italian countryside, people prepare the delicious tomato sauce made from just-harvested fruits. Those fresh tomatoes are still warm of sun, and sinking your teeth into their flavorful flesh is a special experience. Some leaves of basil are added in every jar of sauce, so when you open it, the following winter, it will still scent like summer.

And you? Which are the spices that make you travel with your fantasy?